Anon - A Layout

Okay, I started this blog generally as a way to just track down what I am feeling and how I am coping with my disease that I was recently diagnosed with (Bipolar Type I) within the last month. My name is E, and I am 25.

I had my suspicions about my own diagnosis for several years now. I have generally kept them to myself in hopes that someone would discover it and call me out on it. Of course, it is rather difficult for someone, even a doctor to do that. I mean, yes, he sits there and watches me fidget, sees me starve myself for months at a time... but those things could easily be related to my nonsensical vanity about my body. And that is not unusual for a woman of my age with my background to have that kind of vanity.

I finally decided it was time to take control of my own life, and go for a diagnosis. It is hard to realize that you could have a chronic illness that can be so severe as this one, but at the same time, I figured, if I knew what it was (and so did my doctor) I can treat it far more successfully. As soon as I was sitting in the doctor's office with my regular weekly weigh-in (if you are suspected of having or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder like me you have to be weighed in all the time - at least I do), and started describing to him different things that I have had going on, he was like, "you know, I think you might be bipolar." So we talked about it, he told me different things that I do that pointed in that general direction, and also mentioned that my troubles with eating (or lack thereof) could be more of a symptom of the disorder, rather than something separate from it!

So it has been about a month since my diagnosis. I am on some meds now, although I certainly might have to have them readjusted and such and try and find all of the right levels of everything that I am on, but hopefully, I will, and eventually I will become some semblance of a "normal" person, whatever that is.